The Process, Deja Vu Style

Associated Press

I’ll be honest – there was a point sometime around the WGC Bridgestone Invitational back in August of 2010 when the thought finally crept into my mind that maybe his career was over, at least the dominating career I’d known it to be over the years anyway. Tiger didn’t come remotely close to breaking par in any of the four rounds that week, and in fact he played so badly that he could’ve been spotted a whopping 29 strokes by the eventual winner (Hunter Mahan) and still would’ve come up a stroke shy of beating him. Unfortunately for Tiger there wasn’t a cut in that event, and his horrible golf game was on display all four days that week. Only one player in the field would play worse, Henrik Stenson, who finished the week at +20. Tiger got him by 2 strokes, finishing at +18.  When asked later that evening what aspect of his game he felt he needed to work on the most, he was very matter-of-fact in his response. “I need to hit the ball better, I need to chip better, I need to putt better, and I need to score better,” he said. In other words, everything. Everything needed some serious work.

Over the next several months we found ourselves becoming desensitized to the typical Tiger-speak every other week during his interviews. Phrases like “it’s a process,” and “getting closer,” or “getting more consistent” or “excited about how my game is progressing” caused us to ponder amongst ourselves if maybe the collision with the fire hydrant back in the fall of 2009 had injured the part of his brain that processed his cognitive thinking skills. Or maybe he was in complete denial of how bad his game really was, despite what we saw on our televisions back home each tournament he played. It was some really awful golf, kinda like a freak of nature seeing a player who for his entire career made the game look so incredibly easy, suddenly tormented with the enormous difficulty of it all.

Then again, maybe he continued to say these things over and over because he knew a few things about himself that we didn’t know, like the fact that he’s overcome these situations before in his career and his level of determination and self-belief would see them through once again.

Precisely two years, seven months and three days later, the nagging left knee that’s required no fewer than four surgeries throughout his career doesn’t appear to be bothering him. He’s swinging and putting well enough to have won 5 Tour events since this time last year, more than any other Tour player in the world. As of Monday morning, only a single point separates him from once again becoming the top-ranked player in the world, and he’s coming off of arguably the best overall tournament performance in his entire career. The “process” that he spent so many frustrating weeks and months talking about and working through seems to be paying off, in spades.

After his win Sunday evening in Miami, he spent a few minutes in the media tent fielding dozens of familiar questions from familiar sports writers who’ve followed him since he won his first major championship 16 years ago, probably knowing his answers to the questions long before they ever asked them. But one question in particular stood out, the gist being whether or not he felt like he could dominate the game once again.

“Well, I’m just trying to get better. It’s very simple,” Woods said. “I feel like my game’s becoming more efficient, and it’s more consistent day in and day out, and I’m very pleased with the progress I’ve made with Sean.”

Typical Tiger-speak, to be sure… stuff we’ve heard countless times before, but with a different twist this time around.

Most of us now believe it.

(all player’s quotes courtesy of PGATOUR.COM)

The Return of Comeback Player of the Year

Stuart Appleby was the last recipient, back in 2010, and prior to that it was Dudley Hart back in 2008. Steve Stricker claimed the honors in both 2006 and 2007. So what happened in 2009 and 2011? There wasn’t one.

Comeback Player of the Year, that is.

The reason behind the Tour’s decision to scrub the Comeback POTY honors 2 of the last 3 years is anyone’s guess, but it could very well be that maybe there really wasn’t a legit Comeback POTY candidate during those two seasons. But the Tour won’t be able to stick to that argument this season, at least not as far as I’m concerned. My criteria might not exactly fall in line with theirs’, nor some of those reading from the blogosphere, but I don’t think my reasoning is any less legitimate. But before I state my case, let me say for the record that I’m not for handing out feel-good awards just for the sake of making people feel better about themselves, which is why I really don’t take issue with the Tour not declaring a Comeback POTY in 2009 and 2011. I reviewed those two seasons earlier today and I couldn’t personally identify a player in either of those two seasons who stood out and would qualify for the honor.. like I said – no problem there. But this season? Different story.

Kyle Robertson / The Dispatch

I’ve often been one of Tiger’s biggest critics the past few years, going back long before the scandal happened in 2009. But I’ve also found myself in total awe of what the Red Shirted Dude has done over the past 15 years. I can separate. I don’t have to like someone as a person to respect their accomplishments. Maybe you’re different, but I’m not wired that tight. I absolutely despised Lawrence Taylor, but I had enormous respect for his skill as a football player and the impact he had on a field.

Same difference, except Lawrence Taylor isn’t arguably the greatest football player in history.

“Why Tiger,” you ask. It’s pretty simple. He never once thought that he would never win again. Deep down, even when all of the naysayers were piling on and doubling down on him during the worst days, weeks, and months of his career – he never stopped believing in himself. When he shot that 79 in the 2nd round of the Wells Fargo back in 2010 and missed the cut, and the announcers couldn’t help but marvel at just how bad his game was – he never stopped believing. Three months later at the Bridgestone Invitational, a tournament that he’s won a record 7 times and held at a course that he could play blindfolded and still win – Woods finished a humiliating 18-over par through 4 rounds and finished dead last. The so-called “experts” who hadn’t officially written Woods off just yet back at the Wells Fargo that May had seen enough. “It’s over, he’s finished. He’ll never be back,” they said.

Soon after that, his career obituary would be written countless times in all of the weekly and monthly periodicals, and he was the topic of every golf-related conversation for the better part of 18 months. In this 24/7 news and social media world we live in, don’t you think he read, listened, and watched enough at some point to start actually wondering if maybe it was really over? But over and over – he continued to get back up and try again. And he did all of this while millions of people cursed and made fun of him, rubbing it in his face that he was finished, oh how the mighty have fallen.

Friends, I can appreciate the difficulty in getting up for a 3-win season for Tiger Woods. I understand. We remember the greatness for all those years, the guy was unbeatable. He was – he was unbeatable. And he’s nowhere near that player now, and he may never be that player ever again, and probably won’t. But instead of walking away from the game and going back to his $60 million mansion and enjoying the toys and the rewards in life that he’d earned – he refused to quit. He never stopped believing in himself, he refused to give up.

No, he’s not Mr. Nice Guy, he’s got plenty of faults. He was a douche bag, and still acts like a douche bag sometimes. But the Red Shirted Dude proved a lot of people wrong this year just winning once, never mind three times. But what about majors, you ask. Has he really made a comeback if he’s yet to win a major? I know that majors weigh the heaviest in his world, but I think bouncing back from all of the shame and humiliation, and overcoming a severe knee problem and a 2-year funk – that’s enough to meet my own criteria.

Is it enough to meet yours’? If not Tiger, who gets your vote?

 

 

Tiger-Stevie Split: Nothing Lasts Forever

When the news broke 48 hours ago that Tiger Woods officially parted ways with caddie and close friend Steve Williams, the internet was abuzz with activity…. everyone has an opinion on what events may or may not have led to the divide between golf’s dynamic duo, but this much is certain: very few who follow the game ever imagined the day coming when Woods would no longer be walking the fairways with Williams by his side. Williams himself seemed shocked to learn that his services were no longer wanted, as he detailed his disappointment in an interview on Wednesday (below).

The 12-year partnership that began back in 1999 was the perfect match, or seemed to be. A successful dynasty awaited. Friendship happened. Marriage happened. Children happened. The loss of a father happened. Steve Williams became much more than just a looper for Tiger Woods – he became a close friend, if not a confidant. As Williams points out in his interview above – he was there with his friend through thick and thin, good times and sad times, good rounds and bad. He was the guy that maintained order inside the ropes, duties that included playing marshal to trigger-happy cameramen to barking at galleries to stop breathing while his player was trying to concentrate. To some he was seen as a villain, to others a modern-day Matt Dillon on the links. He was also very opinionated and unafraid to make enemies, as we learned a few years back that HE WASN’T IMPRESSED WITH PHIL MICKELSON. Steve Williams was a lot of things to a lot of people. But there was no denying that he was the right guy on Tiger’s bag, the guy who Tiger trusted more than anyone else.

But then came the scandal back in November of 2009.

For the past couple of years, Williams has seemed reluctant to talk much about how the scandal impacted their friendship, other than saying that he was just as shocked and disappointed to learn of the revelations as anyone else. That was about the extent of what he offered to the media. But within 48 hours of his firing, Williams opened up a little about how the scandal did impact their relationship, most notably in disclosing that right before his first tournament back last year that he told Woods that “he lost a lot of his respect and that he would have to earn it back.” Woods isn’t the type to be talked down to by anyone…. much less a caddie that he’s helped make a millionaire a few times over during the past dozen or so years. Would it be out of line to suggest that if Williams did indeed have that conversation with Woods – could that have been the beginning of the end? I think it’s a fair assumption.

And then we notice how much different their on-course interactions have been since then…. what used to be chatty, back-and-forth joking and laughter had pretty much been replaced by countless scenes of frustration and uncertainty with very little banter. They no longer appeared to be two friends embarking on destiny, but rather a boss and an employee trying to somehow get through their differences and challenges. No doubt – Williams was starting to feel the pinch financially… then when Woods admitted that his ongoing knee problem was going to impact his schedule and force him to take an indefinite leave of absence, Williams decided to do what most other tour caddies do in those instances – seek permission to find temporary work until his player was back in action. Granted – it was a surprise to see Williams anxious to work with another player, but it’s also worth noting that he too is highly competitive and enjoys winning…. Maybe spending the past 12 years with Tiger has rubbed off on Williams like that, the desire to compete and win.

But what gets lost in all of the changing scenery in the continuing saga of Tiger Woods is the changing scenery itself. He’s no longer the player most feared, nor is he the most sought-out athlete as far as the corporate sponsors are concerned. He’s on the verge of falling outside of the top 30 in the world rankings, his last win came two seasons ago and is currently ranked 20th in the World Golf Rankings. He’s not only up against father time as it relates to beating Jack Nicklaus’ career 18 major victories, but also as it relates to his health. It used to be a forgone conclusion that he would become the greatest golfer that ever lived, but currently it’s uncertain that he’ll ever win another tournament, period. Currently, Tiger is dead on pace to become the 2nd best player that ever lived, which is a milestone away from being considered the best-ever.

And not that his career has been anything other than impressive… who in their right mind could argue that Tiger hasn’t been the greatest player in this era of the game? But when you think about what might have been lost in the span of 2 years is absolutely mind boggling…. except now it just doesn’t appear to be an unprecedented career full of record-setting achievements lost. It now seems that he’s in the process of ridding himself of all emotional attachments that ever meant anything to him. Then again, maybe nothing outside of winning ever mattered.

We can most likely add CNN to Tiger’s Shun List

It’s like eating a bad plate of Mexican food… just when you think that it’s safe to come out of the bathroom, your undies beg you to reconsider.

Tiger Woods’ personal life has been the biggest story of the year, not just in golf but all of sports. It’s been covered at nearly every possible angle, except one: his family. Or maybe it would be more apt to say his “estranged” family? Earl Woods Jr. says that he’s not spoken with his brother since their father’s death, despite making repeated efforts to reach him. Interesting….

HERE is a small sampling of the special that CNN will air Saturday night at 10:00 p.m. EST, and will re-air Sunday night at 10:30 p.m. It’s called Downfall: The Tiger Woods Story.

Quoteable Quotes: 2010 PGA Tour Edition

Dude, did he just call you what I think he called you?

“It’s cheating, and I’m appalled Phil has put it in play.” – Scott McCarron, commenting on Phil Mickelson’s decision to use legal (but non-conforming) Ping Wedges earlier this year in a tournament at Torey Pines.

It’s very rare that you hear a tour player openly accuse another tour player of outright cheating. And when he does, he’d better be prepared to stand by his comments or he’s going to look like a back-peddling ass. Of which McCarron did several days later when he apologized to Mickelson for making the comment. Although Mickelson’s motive was crystal clear, he was no less permitted to use the wedges that week. It didn’t help matters that Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem sat idly by and watched the mess unfold right in front of him. But McCarron knew better than to say what he said. That was just an out-and-out shank.

Bobby Jones Got Wood

“The gap was a little bit wide. It wasn’t huge but it was big enough for a ball to fit through.” – Phil Mickelson, describing the thought behind his miraculous 6iron from 207 yards on the 13th hole at Augusta in the final round.

What more to add about the shot of the year… A momentary lapse would lead to a 2-putt birdie from inside of 6 feet, but there weren’t any doubts from anyone watching that at that very moment – Lefty was on his way to a Dunkin Donuts drive-thru in his 3rd Green Jacket.

How to Win Whilst Losing

“I just thought I was on a piece of dirt that the crowd had trampled down. I never thought I was in a sand trap. It never once crossed my mind that I was in a bunker. Obviously I know the rules of golf and I can’t ground my club in a bunker, but that was just one situation I guess. Maybe I should have looked to the rule sheet a little harder.” – Dustin Johnson, after incurring a penalty for grounding his club in a bunker on the final hole of the PGA Championship.

THAT is how you handle yourself during the most frustrating moment of your career, with honesty, sincerity, and understanding. THAT is how you quadruple your fan base in the span of 15 minutes, as people are watching you manage a serious disappointment. And all because you never once thought about feeling sorry for yourself despite being overwhelmed with the heartbreaking news. Well played, DJ.

Tabloid Reporters Gone Wild

“You’re a liar. You’re going down!” – Jim Gray, shouting at Ryder Cup Captain Corey Pavin in a heated exchange after Pavin denies that he told Gray off the record that Tiger Woods was an automatic captain’s pick.

I’m not sure what’s worse – Pavin giving this guy the time of day, or the Golf Channel putting him on the payroll. If Jim Gray was a manager in the WWF, he would be the guy hitting his wrestler’s downed opponent with a folding chair ringside while the referee is distracted.

Were You Happy or Depressed After the 2010 Ryder Cup?

“I wanted to be able to call them my soldiers, my pilots, my sailors. I have the benefit of living in this country and it is maintained by them… Thomas Jefferson said we need soldiers and teachers, and it is as true now as it was then.” – CBS Golf commentator David Feherty on his love of the American Military, and why he became a US Citizen back in February.

Without going into any great lengths of why I admire David Feherty, I’ll just simply say that he “gets” what it means to be an American citizen. He’d lived in our country (legally, I might add) as an outsider for the better part of 13 years, and while he manned a booth for CBS golf telecasts during that time, he became one of the biggest supporters of our nation’s military as one could possibly be. Wounded Warriors, Troops First, whatever the foundation – he became involved. And in the process he logged more hours on planes bound for Iraq and Afghanistan than a majority of our government’s politicians combined. On Tuesday, February 23rd of this year, David Feherty officially became the American citizen that he’d already been in his heart for the better part of the past decade.

Like Shooting Fish in a Bucket

“Most people try to shoot their age. Today, I shot my height.” – Paul Goydos, who measures 5 feet, 9 inches tall, after becoming only the 4th player to ever shoot 59 in a PGA Tournament.

“I got beat by a 59.” – Jeff Overton, reacting to Stuart Appleby’s putt on the 72nd hole of the Greenbrier Classic to not only win the event, but also becoming the 5th player in tour history to shoot 59 in a PGA Tournament.

Yeah, those softer grooves really made a difference, you USGA schmucks…

Singing the Winnebago Blues

“I’m done. I’m done. I’m done with golf. I can’t compete. I can’t play like I used to. I can’t keep taking spots from guys out here playing this bad. It’s not worth it.” – John Daly, after missing the cut in the first two events of the 2010 season.

He didn’t quit, which oddly enough is probably the first time we’ve been able to say that about Big John in a long time. I could literally fill the bandwidth on my blog saying what I’d really like to say pertaining to Daly, but I’ll just quickly point out 3 things (that came from this season alone!) that prevent me from respecting the guy. (1) The 456-page rap sheet that became public in March:  In 18 years, the tour suspended this guy on 5 separate occasions. He was cited for not giving his best effort on 21 occasions. And he was cited and fined for conduct unbecoming of a professional 11 different times. If your employer needs more than one page to document your lack of professionalism and your dismal work ethic at your job – it’s not just a matter of you getting canned – it’s painfully obvious that you’re unemployable, period. (2) The guy made less than $159,000 in official earnings this season, but he’s above going to Q-School: Now let’s compare Daly to another guy 2 years older than he is, a guy who also won 2 major championships, and a guy who earned nearly a half a million more dollars than he did this year. That guy is Lee Janzen, who also failed to earn enough money to play on the PGA Tour next season. Last week Lee Janzen was busting his balls in the cold weather at Q-School trying to work his way back onto the PGA Tour. Where was John Daly? Who knows. But he sure as hell wasn’t freezing his ass off at Q-School trying to earn a spot next year. This is the same guy that was crying about how he couldn’t keep taking spots from other players on the tour, mind you. (3) The $100 million lawsuit Daly filed earlier this year against the PGA Tour and a Children’s Charity event: Apparently Daly was playing in this Children’s Charity event back in 2007 and (according to him) he injured himself because of some noise from a fan in the gallery that distracted him while swinging at his tee ball. Let’s face it, if this was your brother-in-law, you’d call him a mooch and you’d demand all of the money back that you’ve foolishly lent him over the years. But the golf world continues to feed us these feel-good John Daly stories, when the reality is that there’s nothing there to feel good about anymore.

Absence Doesn’t Make the Putting Grow Stronger

“I need the break. I need to miss the game a little bit.” – Sergio Garcia, commenting about his decision to step away from the game for a while.

Despite his occasional tantrums and bouts of self-pity, Sergio Garcia has probably been on the receiving end of more unwarranted forgiveness than any other touring pro playing the game today. I guess a big part of that is because at some point, regardless of whether you like a player’s personality or not, deep down you want to see someone that you’ve followed for a significant period of time finally get over the hump and get that first big win. Colin Montgomerie is a good example for myself – I’ve never really liked his personality, I think he can be extremely pleasant one minute and arrogant and demeaning the next. But I’ve always respected his golf game. And in the final round of the 2006 US Open at Winged Foot, as Monty found himself with a great chance to finally win that first major, I remember telling my wife, “You know, as bad as I hate to admit it, I’d kinda like to see Monty win this thing. He’s paid his dues, it would be nice to see him do it.” But the difference between guys like Monty or Garcia and guys like Phil Mickelson or Ernie Els – you’ve always rooted for the nice guys, the guys who don’t complain, the guys who stay late to sign autographs, the guys who open themselves up to their fans, the players who don’t forget that the fans are the reason they are where they are. And truthfully the tour is full of players like this, some just don’t get the exposure like the others do. But as it relates to Sergio, there’s still plenty of time left. Whatever he does or doesn’t achieve for the remainder of his career will be proportionate to the changes he does or doesn’t make with his attitude. You can take a year off, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to see the world any differently when you return.

We Got Your Back, Bro…

“If you go up and down the line of the Tour players in Europe and U.S. and asked them if you would like to be the last guy to decide the Ryder Cup, probably less than half would say they would like to be that guy and probably less than 10 percent of them would mean it. Hunter Mahan put himself in that position today. … Hunter Mahan performed like a champ out there today, all right. And I think it’s awesome. Not many players would want to do that.” – Stewart Cink, addressing the media and trying to comfort a distraught Hunter Mahan at Celtic Manor.

No matter which side you cheered for, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for the warrior who fell on his own sword in front of the world. But if somehow you didn’t, you need to stop raking back 3 footers on the weekends with your buddies and putt ’em out. Then get back to me.

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long….

“There are many people in this room and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today, I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your hearts to one day believe in me again.” – Closing remarks of Tiger Woods’ address at first public appearance after the Thanksgiving 2009 scandal.

People will make what they will of Tiger’s scandal, and there’s no need for me to write a 400 word essay about my own personal opinions on the matter. Opinions are like assholes, and this asshole got sick of hearing about his scandal after the first week (although I will admit that it was fun googling the different women he shagged). Golf not only survived in his brief absence, it thrived.

Police Blotters, Cheating Underscore a Tumultuous Year in Golf

Okay, so this wasn’t one of professional golf’s most inspiring years.

Alas, it was the November from hell.

Do I look like I'm on Steroids?

November, 2009: It all started with a little tainted urine from a journeyman PGA touring pro who became the PGA Tour’s first official offender of the tour’s drug testing policy. Doug Barron claims that the drugs that caused him to test positive were prescribed by a personal physician for a health condition, medication that was essentially needed for quality of life reasons. Nevertheless, his appeal was denied and the 1-year suspension stood. Barron was last seen in his backyard trying to impress his neighbors by bench pressing his Volvo.

November 27, 2009: All hell broke loose at the luxurious gated community of Isleworth, courtesy of an intercepted text message and a fire hydrant that just so happened to violently dart in front of the luxury SUV driven by Tiger Woods. Meanwhile Bill Clinton sits at home eating leftover turkey and chuckles while watching ESPN news.

February, 2010: The taxman cometh and a Champions Tour veteran couldn’t runneth. Jim Thorpe was found guilty of tax evasion charges, more than $2 million worth matter of fact, was then suspended by the PGA Tour, and is currently serving a year in prison. Word has it that Thorpe has successfully chipped over 10,000 golf balls into his corner toilet over the past 6 months. His putting is reportedly a little yippish, however.

April 23, 2010: The golf world was shocked to learn that the LPGA’s top star is retiring from golf. 28-yr-old Lorena Ochoa officially announced her retirement, with plans of starting a family and continuing her charity foundation in her free time. With 27 LPGA Tour wins, including 2 major championships, the LPGA said goodbye to a great competitor and a wonderful ambassador for women’s golf.

May, 2010: The taxman cometh, again. This time from the Danish tax authorities, who were wondering how European Tour player Soren Hansen could live in two different countries at the same time. Hansen avoided jail time, but had to pay a hefty sum of 750,000 Euro. How do you say “f**k me” in German?

May 2010: Futures Tour player Erica Blasberg was found dead in her Henderson, Nevada home after she texted her caddie the evening prior to tell her that she wasn’t going to be at the qualifying round in Mobile, Alabama two days later. Her caddie (Missy Pederson) felt that something wasn’t right when she received the text the next morning. She texted Erica back, hoping to hear that nothing was wrong, but got no response. Several hours later the local authorities found her dead, and the investigation went on for months. In late August, the investigating authorities concluded through the autopsy that Blasberg had toxic levels of prescription drugs in her system and had taken her own life. But another angle of the story involving a personal acquaintance – Dr. Thomas Hess – would emerge, making the suicide ruling look very suspicious. You can read more on this story HERE and come to your own conclusion.

August 2010: The PGA Tour suspended rookie Matt Every for 3 months, for conduct unbecoming a professional. Every was arrested at an Iowa hotel back in July and charged with possession of a controlled substance (marijuana). He has reportedly taken a maintenance position at Bushwood Country Club, under the tutelage of Carl Spackler.

August 2010: Professional golf would once again take a nut-knocker with the alleged cheating scandal on the LPGA tour, courtesy of Shi Hyun Ahn and Il Mi Chung. The evidence that something improper occurred was overwhelming, but a brief Barney Fife investigation by the LPGA Tour concluded that nothing improper happened and it was just a “confusing” miscommunication problem. Uh, Yeah. Okay. So two players played the wrong balls on the final hole. One player allegedly knew about it, then informed the other player about it, then both players signed for their scores anyway without taking the penalty… then one of the players allegedly told her caddie that he didn’t see anything. Uh, sure. Move along folks, nothing to see here. Or at least that was the tour’s response. And you can read more about that HERE.

But there were a couple of silver linings, nevertheless.

The PGA Tour learned that it could survive a Tiger-less season of golf. While Tiger Woods was figuring out a way to reenter a public life inside the ropes, the tour kept on keeping on. New faces emerged. Old faces reemerged. And the drama and excitement of professional golf at the highest level didn’t blink an eye, at least to the real golf fanatics of the universe.

Old grooves, new grooves, blah blah blah… So much for the USGA thinking that the shallower grooves on golf clubs would impede the bomb-and-gouge era in golf. Paul Goydos? Stuart Appleby? Both carded historic rounds of 59 within a month of each other this season. A couple of near-misses with rounds of 60 were posted as well by a few other players. Nah, the bomb-and-gouge era is still alive and doing well, grooves be damned.

And for all of the criticism that Tim Finchem deals with on a weekly basis, it is worth noting that he’s done a pretty damned good job keeping PGA Tour sponsors on board despite a stagnant economic recession. The tour has lost a few sponsors in the process, but has picked a few up in return, and is in the process of securing a few more in the near future. Given the enormous challenges that the tour has faced regarding maintaining steady title sponsorship, Finchem has managed things very well. I think the tour will make it for a few more years, at least. 😉

With the PGA Tour Playoff finale at East Lake only a week away, and the 2010 Ryder Cup only a few more after that, the last chapter for this season in golf awaits to be written. But overall it has been a great year in golf, and next season should be even better. Maybe with a few less police blotters involved, but better.